Happy September

Wow!  Yet another busy month is flying by.  I hope this month’s newsletter finds you happy and healthy!

Thank you to the many people who have asked me to expand on our popular workshop discussion topic of perception.  I know I’ve emailed or phoned you all personally but your enthusiasm for the topic made me think it might be also be a good topic for this month’s Happiness Hotline.

Putting our workshop discussion into print is quite the task and I hope I cover all the points.  Please feel free to contact me if you would like anything clarified or would like to discuss the topic further. 

The topic came out of a quote I learned quite some time ago.  It comes from H. Jackson Browne who once said ‎'People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost.'

During our day we see or experience things that elicit emotion, and the same things can bring out different emotions in all of us.  What makes us happy might annoy someone else, what makes us anxious might mean almost nothing to another, and what makes us angry might be a source of amusement for a stranger.  Our perception, or the way we see or experience different things is based on a whole range of things; upbringing, culture, age, belief system, peer groups – the list goes on. 

The first thing that it’s important for us to do is to recognise perception for what it is.  A unique and individual way of seeing things that is different for each of us.  We should all try to understand that each of us will have a different reaction or response to what we are seeing or experiencing.

Next we need to accept that just because someone else reacts or responds differently to us that does not make us, or them, wrong.  We are simply different.

I don’t mind queues or waiting.  They give me a chance to read or practice my Power Break meditation, yet I have a friend who gets most irate if she has to wait more than a few minutes for anything.   I’m happy to get up on stage and speak with 5000 people but I know someone who won’t talk in workshops because she hates speaking to even the smallest group.  Booking flights makes me anxious, I once booked 2 fights on the wrong days and now I get nervous even thinking about it so I have a friend book flights for me.  She loves getting on line and finding the best flights to put me on.  I’m sure you can think of lots of times when someone you know has reacted or responded quite differently to you when you are both experiencing the seemingly the same thing.

I f you find that something is making you feel anxious, upset, uncomfortable or angry here are a few simple steps you might like to try:

·         Where possible take that metaphorical step back – breathe deeply and stop the thinking process by focusing on the breath.  Once your deep breathing has calmed your system have a second look at whatever the issue is.   

·         As you take your deep breaths try to smile, chuckle or laugh.  Our ability to laugh, or at the very least smile at the smaller issues in our day helps to build our resilience and our ability to cope with the larger ones.

·         If you are still having trouble with the issue at hand it can help to get a second opinion.  Enlist that second set of eyes by sharing your issue with someone else.  This ‘second look’ from another perspective can sometimes make all the difference.

Thank you to those who mention that I have a tendency to use the term “react and respond”, and to all those who ask why I say it and what I mean.  To me they are completely different things and I like to mention both when it’s appropriate.   

·         A reaction is our brain fast tracking our physical response to danger.  It’s a valid and very useful function.  If something was coming towards you at a fast rate of knots you would duck or run or maybe reach out to catch it without really thinking about what you were doing.  If you brain senses danger it by-passes your thought processes and fires up your muscles to allow you to react quickly in a way that has worked in the past.

·         Responding is a thinking process where we look rationally at what is happening and think about the best thing to do in the situation.  If you responded to the thing that was heading toward you by thinking “What is that and why is it coming at me?” whatever it is might serve you a painful blow before you’ve come up with the answers. 

·         Both reacting and responding have their place.  We should react only when needed and respond whenever we can.  Perhaps we can look at this in greater depth in a later Happiness Hotline.

Earlier this month I was invited by a friend’s 4 year old son to attend his end of year (yes, so early) gymnastics display.  I asked him what he would be doing and he jumped up proudly said “Ta Da’s”.  I didn’t know that I should ask what he meant and I went along in anticipation.  We watched in silence as he performed on the balance beam and when he’d finished his routine he star jumped onto the floor, flung his arms in the air and proudly shouted “Ta Da!”.  We all clapped and then we realised that we were so quiet while he was balancing but we all cheered the finish, which he took be us cheering his ‘Ta Da’.  This week at my community laughter club we’ve been practicing our ‘Ta Da’s’  They cheer us up no end.  This month, when you do something you are proud of why not try a ‘Ta Da’?  They are so energising and so much fun!

Thank you to everyone who commented on last month’s Happiness Hotline.  I love hearing from you.  Don’t forget, if you have an idea that you think would make a good Hotline topic or have something that you would like to share you are more than welcome to contact me at bronwyn@letlsaugh.com.au

We still have our face book page at Let’s Laugh - http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Lets-Laugh/184041938311969

And I must admit that while we still have our account, I’m still to come to terms with twitter where we are letslaughmelb.

Keep laughing and have a brilliant rest of September.